“Four score and seven years ago” – Abraham Lincoln.
“Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country.” – John F. Kennedy.
We’ve all heard the words…those immortal words. The words that have changed the world.
I was recently listening to a podcast where Oprah Winfrey was interviewing someone you’ve probably seen on the big screen from time to time – Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. About 10 days before this interview, The Rock’s father passed away. In the interview, Oprah asked him if he felt that he had been able to say everything he needed to say to his father before he passed. While The Rock and his father weren’t terribly close, his immediate response was no. He didn’t say everything he wanted to his father while he still had the chance. At the same time, The Rock told Oprah that he hadn’t heard everything he needed to hear from his father before he died. While very sad, this idea caught my attention. There is power in the spoken word. That power doesn’t have to come from timeless words that change history like those above. There is power in the simple words. Words of gratitude. Words that we all need to say. Words that we all need to hear.
Words may seem mundane to many of us. A simple collection of letters that have meaning when combined. They’re just a tool we use to communicate with others. We use words every day, all day – words are being used all around the world as we speak. In fact, you are reading them right now. Just collections of letters. And while words seem so common, I think many of us don’t understand their true power. While words have the power to hurt, they also have the power to heal. Words have the power to create positive change all around us. They can bring a smile to someone’s face on a bad day. They can provide a sense of encouragement for someone going through a rough patch in life. Words have the power to create lifelong friendships and deep connection with others. There is one caveat however, unless there is action behind words, they have no power. Words need to be spoken. Words need to be written. Words need to be communicated with others in order for their power to truly be expressed. We need to say the words.
Unfortunately, The Rock no longer has the opportunity to say what he’d like to his father… nor does he have the opportunity to hear what he needed to hear from his father. However, luckily, many of us still do have that opportunity. We have an opportunity to say what we need to say to our loved ones. We have an opportunity to hear what we need to hear from our loved ones. This opportunity is one of life’s most precious gifts.
Think about the people in your inner circle. Who is in that circle? Your parents? Your spouse? Your siblings? Your children? Your friends? Maybe even your work colleagues? You know who these people are.
Say the words
Say “I love you” to those that mean so much to you. Say “I’m grateful for you and the impact you’ve made on my life”. Say “thank you for being a part of my life and for playing such a crucial role when I needed you the most”.
Just say the words
Whatever those words might be for you to convey your appreciation and gratitude for that person. Be genuine. Be honest. Be true. Do not forfeit the opportunity to harness the power of words to strengthen your relationships because this opportunity will not be there forever.
Imagine if Martin Luther King, Jr, Abraham Lincoln or John F. Kennedy didn’t say the words. How might our world be different because of that decision? Imagine if you choose to not say the words, to communicate your gratitude, toward a loved one. How might their world be different because of that decision? Now, imagine a world where you do say the words. A world where you do express the depth of your gratitude to those close to you. Imagine how beautiful the world would be because of that decision. You can change someone’s world simply by the words you say. So do that…
Six feet. About the size of the couch that you may be sitting on as you read this. It’s really not that far. Why is it then, that over the last few months, six feet has often felt a little more like six miles?
By now, we all know the guideline – stay at least six feet away from other people for the best chance of mitigating the spread of COVID-19. In theory, it makes sense. Maintaining a distance of at least six feet from others will help to limit our opportunities of coming into contact with those that might be infected with the disease or spreading the virus to others.
So, yes, there is no doubt that this six-foot guideline keeps us safe during these uncertain times. At the same time, this guideline has impacted our personal lives in ways that are still hard to fathom. Six feet – we’ve all seen the stories and videos about family members visiting loved ones at nursing homes only to have that conversation take place through a glass window via a phone call. Six feet – we’ve all been craving the connection that comes from sitting around a table with friends at a restaurant. Six feet – we are all yearning for simple hugs from those family and friends that mean the world to us. Just six feet…that’s all.
Technology that allows us to jump on a FaceTime call with a friend or join a virtual family reunion via video conferencing tools has been a blessing over the last few months. Really, what would we do without it. However, even as awesome as that technology is, it really doesn’t enable the real and tangible connections that we have when sitting across the table from a friend at lunch or playing a board game with family members that we don’t get to see every day. As humans, we are wired for connection. We need it. It’s literally in our DNA – its as strong as our need for food, water, shelter and warmth.
So, given that, we might ask ourselves – can we be grateful for a guideline that literally pulls us all away from each other physically, despite our physiological pre-disposed need for connectivity? While it might seem counterintuitive to say that we should be grateful for our current circumstances, perhaps we should be thankful for those six feet at the moment.
Most importantly, they keep us, and others, safe as we navigate this pandemic. Further, for so many, those six feet have been somewhat of an eye opener for us. They have allowed us to focus our attention on those everyday things that we all too often take for granted. They have reminded us of the beautiful and ordinary things that we have in our lives that we might not have thought twice about even just a few short months ago. They have reminded us about the small things – the things that, in reality, are the big things in our lives. For that, we should be grateful.
As some of the restrictions start to ease over the coming months, those six feet have allowed us to approach the opportunities for connection with a whole new mindset. Because of this perspective, we can look forward, with anticipation, to the conversation with our parents on their porch. We can more genuinely appreciate the upcoming family birthday parties that will be filled with joy and laughter. We can be grateful for the chance to sit in the stands watching a baseball game with a grandparent. We can more deeply appreciate the love from a friend that comes through a simple hug.
There is a song that was recently released by Luke Combs called “Six Feet Apart”. The song closes with the words “There will be light after dark, someday when we aren’t six feet apart”. That day will come. There will be light after the dark. While these have been unprecedented times, the lessons we have learned along the way, by those six little feet, are lessons that we can always remember with a deep sense of gratitude.
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Mike Good, creator of The Gratitude Spark, resides in Chaska, MN. He is passionate about living life through the lens of gratitude and helping individuals and organizations spark incredible positive change through the power of a grateful mindset. If you’re interested in learning more about the power of gratitude and how it can help to spark a change in your life and in the lives of those around you, feel free to contact Mike via email at mike@thegratitudespark.com. You can also check us out online at www.TheGratitudeSpark.com on Instagram at @thegratitudespark or join our Facebook community called the “The Gratitude Spark“.
Take a moment and think back to December 31, 2019. It’s really not all that long ago. What were you doing? What were you feeling? For many, we were all wrapping up the holiday season and looking forward, with anticipation, to the newness that would come in 2020. Little did we know that “newness” would come in the form of a global pandemic that would change our world in ways we couldn’t imagine.
So far, in 2020, it almost feels like the whole world has been turned upside down – as if someone took the little floating ball we live on and gave it a good shake. As we have searched for our new “normal” (whatever that might be these days), we have been forced to learn what this new life looks like and with that, how we might start adjusting to the changes that come our way due to COVID-19. We have learned what is means to distance ourselves from others. Some of us have had to learn new strategies with respect to working from home. Sadly, many of us have had to learn the process of filing for unemployment and many of us have had to learn how to deal with new levels of anxiety.
It is no secret that our lives have changed, and as is often the case, change can be difficult. With all of these new things happening in our lives over the last couple months, it’s very easy to get bogged down by thoughts of negativity, and unfortunately, negative thought have a tendency to ripple. It may seem like there is nothing ‘good’ happening in the world. Just look at the news or jump online – all we see is the rising death count, the rising unemployment numbers, and a collective anxiety among health care workers and governmental officials. With that focus, it is easy to let that ripple of negativity grow. We all see it, we all feel it, probably in ways that we’ve not experienced negativity before. It is, in a word, scary. But, luckily for us, it doesn’t have to be that way. Positivity also has a ripple effect. It just takes an intentional focus on goodness. So, with that, let’s pause. Let’s slow down. Let’s look around. Let’s notice things. There IS goodness in our world. In fact, it’s all around us. Despite a global pandemic and one of the scariest times in recent history, there is good happening. If we just take a moment to pause, we’ll find it.
For example, this virus has shown us how interconnected we really are in our world. It has, quite literally, brought us closer together even though we are physically distancing ourselves from one another. We can communicate via phone, text, email and other technologies that allow us to connect with our friends and family from anywhere in the world. We have seen the images from Italy and New York of spontaneous music and singing from resident’s balconies. We have seen the images of crowds of people honking their horns out of respect for health-care workers as they leave their shift for some well-deserved rest. We have seen neighbors helping neighbors by dropping off groceries for those that can’t get to the grocery store. We have been able to truly connect with family members on a much deeper level. Heck, families across the world have probably successfully completed more puzzles together than at any other time in our history.
This pandemic has brought countless changes to our lives. Changes that have forced us to live differently. Changes that have made it easier to focus on negativity. The start of 2020 has been anything but normal. It took a global pandemic to bring the world together against a common enemy. But, when do we get that kind of opportunity? Be grateful for the chance to realize the goodness that is happening all over our world. Know that it’s everywhere. Also know that it’s there not only to find, it’s also there to create.
In the immortal words of Bob Dylan – “the times, they are a-changin’.” Over the course of the last month, we have seen life change dramatically as a result of COVID-19. Hopefully, by the time this edition is published, things have calmed and we have returned to our old “normal”. However, the last month has been anything but normal and has forced us all to engage in new behaviors, take new actions and develop new routines. We have been faced with situations and concerns that, thankfully, our generation has not had to experience until now. We have been introduced to precautionary measures like the widespread closing of public venues, schools and churches. We have dealt with postponements of major sporting events, concerts and professional conferences. We have learned new terms like “containment areas”, “pandemic mitigation” and “social distancing”.
With all of these concerns over the last month, many of us are left with feelings of uncertainty, confusion and anxiety. For some of us, these feelings often result in a focus on negativity; it’s no secret that negative thoughts have a ripple effect – negativity begets negativity. Lucky for us, the contrary is true. Focusing on positive thoughts and emotions can also have a ripple effect, albeit a ripple effect in a far more healthy direction – positivity begets positivity. By intentionally cultivating a mindset of gratitude and appreciating the little things in life, we can literally rewire the brain to automatically notice and acknowledge positive emotions and thoughts.
So, how do we do it? Below are a couple of things you can try when building a conscious mindset of gratitude.
First, start a journal. One of the simplest and most effective ways to cultivate a mindset of gratitude is to take five minutes each day and write three ordinary things for which you are grateful. This journaling activity has the opportunity to dramatically change your ability to find a new appreciation for the ordinary moments in life. As one of my favorite authors, Brené Brown, points out, “Joy comes to us in the ordinary moments. We risk missing out when we get too busy chasing down the extraordinary.”
Second, find a “gratitude buddy”. Having someone to go through a journey of gratitude with you and to hold you accountable for cultivating a grateful mindset can reap huge benefits. Your gratitude buddy can be your spouse, your child, a friend, a co-worker. Set aside a few minutes each day to have a conversation about the things for which you are grateful. Sharing thoughts of gratitude with someone can strengthen your mindset as well as open your eyes to other perspectives.
Third, pick a word of the day. Each day, simply pick something for which you are grateful and focus on it for the remainder of the day. Recently, as part of The Gratitude Spark community on Facebook, members shared a single word of positivity or something for which they are grateful with the group. This allowed us all to collectively focus on positivity (remember positivity begets positivity) and also be mindful about new things we could focus on each day. The image to the right shows some of the words of positivity that the community shared which might be helpful for you as you pick your word of the day.
Yes, COVID-19 is scary. But by focusing one day at a time, appreciating the little things and cultivating a mindset of gratitude, it will help you stay in the moment and not be overwhelmed. Stay grateful so that you can stay healthy!
In the immortal words of Ferris Bueller, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around
once in awhile, you could miss it.” In all honesty, it really is true. Life often does move so fast
that it’s easy to miss some of the more important things in life if you don’t have an intentional
focus. Gratitude definitely falls into this camp. Sure, being grateful is a good thing; however,
developing a “habit of gratitude” can be kind of tricky. We all know that expressing gratitude is
beneficial and can make a big difference in our overall sense of well-being. But, as with
anything, without intentional effort, it’s easy for a person to lose momentum with respect to their
practices and expressions of gratitude that are needed for it to become a “habit”.
Sure, there are lots of ways to cultivate a habit of gratitude, but, even these strategies like
journaling and writing gratitude letters can be challenging given our busy schedules. At times,
they can even start to feel almost more like a “chore” than a way of improving your life. So this
month, let’s make it easy on ourselves. Over the course of February, we invite you to be
intentional with respect to your practice of gratitude by following the easy and intuitive prompts
in our “Month of Gratitude” calendar. For each day in February, we have included a short
thought or activity that will help build your gratitude muscles. The intent is to inspire a feeling of
abundance and hope with short reminders to help you to cultivate a mindset of gratitude each
day.
A helpful hint: Keep this top-of-mind. Consider printing this calendar and tape it to your refrigerator or bathroom mirror to have a constant reminder to be intentional in your practice of gratitude each day of the month.
