A Life Without What-Ifs
Imagine, for a moment, an older gentleman sitting on his porch. It’s dusk with the sun slowly setting in the distance. The only sounds are the bird chirping, the wind gently blowing through the trees and the squeak from his rocking chair. He is alone, with his thoughts, contemplating life. As we all approach the latter stages of life, it’s not uncommon to contemplate and wonder, to consider our “what if’s”, to think about the regrets we might have, to wonder about how our life might look had we done some things differently.
If I were a betting man, I’d bet money that this gentleman wasn’t sitting on his porch thinking about how much he regretted not spending more time at work or how he wished he had spent more weekends away from his family as he worked toward that next promotion. However, according to Bronnie Ware in her book, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, it would be far more likely that our friend on the porch might be contemplating on one of the following:
- “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”
- “I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.”
- “I wish I had the courage to express my feelings.”
- “I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.”
- “I wish I had let myself be happier.”
Pretty deep topics huh? I might suggest that it’s not only in the latter stages of our lives that we might contemplate these types of thoughts. In fact, I’ve had several of these thoughts over the course of my life. However, the beauty of all this is that no matter how old you are, whether you’re a teenager, whether you’re middle aged, or whether you’re in the latter stages of life, we all have the opportunity to live our lives in a way such that we can avoid these types of thoughts. Perhaps all we have to do is approach life a little differently and look at things through a certain lens. Perhaps that lens could be the “lens of gratitude”.
So, work through this with me. What if we took time to be grateful for our own dreams and the pursuit of them? Perhaps then we might find a path that aligns perfectly with our life purpose. What if we were grateful for the opportunity to work, but more grateful for the opportunities that came outside of work? Perhaps then a completely new life path might open for us, one that is consistent with our true passions. What if we took the time to express gratitude and appreciation for our own feelings? Perhaps then we may be able to express them easier. What if we were present and grateful for every interaction with our friends? Perhaps then those friendships could turn into life-changing relationships. And finally, what if we really lived in the moment and noticed, appreciated and were truly grateful for the little things in life? Perhaps then we could find true joy and happiness.
Don’t get me wrong, gratitude isn’t necessarily the cure-all. It doesn’t protect us from wondering about the what-ifs or possible regrets we might experience over the course of our life. But that being said, incorporating gratitude into your life certainly doesn’t hurt. A life lived with a grateful mindset can provide us with a blanket of contentment, a unique perspective that can help us focus on and emphasize the goodness in our lives.
So, won’t you join me in viewing life through the lens of gratitude? That way, instead of sitting on the porch contemplating a life full of what-ifs and regrets, perhaps we can be sitting on the porch with smiles on our faces as we look back over our lives with a sense of contentment, joy and happiness.