Butterflies have been on my mind lately. Yup – butterflies. Yesterday, a friend of mine sent me a short video clip of a really cool looking caterpillar chomping on a leaf in their backyard. I started thinking about the amazing transformation that little guy will go through over the course of the next several weeks – caterpillar to cocoon to a butterfly. What the??!?!? How does a change like that even begin to occur. I also thought about the migration of monarch butterflies, where each fall, millions of butterflies leave their summer homes in the northeastern U.S. and Canada and travel upwards of 3,000 miles to reach their winter havens in southwestern Mexico. Again…what the?!?!?! How do they know where to go every fall? Heck, I have hard time figuring out how to get someplace in downtown Minneapolis.
Anyway, this led me to the concept of the “butterfly effect”. Maybe you’ve heard of it – they even made a movie about it staring Ashton Kutcher. Pretty good flick – you should check it out. The Butterfly Effect is based on a scientific theory that suggests that a single occurrence, no matter how small, can change the course of the universe. The term goes back to the theoretical example of a hurricane’s formation being dependent on whether or not a butterfly had flapped its wings weeks earlier.
C’mon…really? Something so simple as a butterfly flapping its wings, creating enough change and power in our environment to result in something as powerful as a hurricane? Really? But, when you think about it, the same can be said for our actions. The moments that we show true and genuine gratitude, even the smallest act, can have true power…power to change the world in ways that extend far beyond our imagination and in ways that we may never even see or realize. Consider the impact of a simple thank you to someone who holds the door for you, a note of thanks to a fellow employee, a phone call to a friend with whom you’ve not spoken with for years simply to tell them that you appreciate them, or even a something as simple as a smile (check out this amazing research by Shawn Achor on the ripple effect of a simple smile – it’s pretty incredible). These examples remind me of a quote I saw some time ago – “be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about”. These simple acts of gratitude can be game changers…these are things that can start that ripple…something that costs nothing, but may be priceless for someone else.
So many acts of gratitude are incredibly simple, yet, they carry incredible power…the power to (even though it’s cliche) quite literally, change the world. And even if it’s not some massive world-altering result, those acts can at least be the start of that change just like that butterfly flapping its wings and creating change in our weather patterns. If you want to see positive change in the world, bring it yourself. Practice gratitude. Make it a habit. Let it become an unconscious behavior and let your acts of gratitude be the spark that ignite a series of change that will continue to evolve and ripple into bigger and bigger change…that can eventually…well…change the world.
Ok…now, back to figuring out how that little caterpillar can actually change into a freakin’ butterfly!!!
I am sitting here at a very busy brewery on a cloudy Saturday afternoon. The room is filled with people, some playing games, some just having conversations and all enjoying each other’s company. I can’t help but “people-watch”. One of the individuals that has captured my attention is a little boy, no more than 5 years old. This boy is running around the brewery to different tables, talking to different people and handing out high-fives to each group of people he passes, laughing all the while. I think we can learn a lesson from this boy’s attitude.
As a little boy, I am sure he doesn’t fully understand the concept of gratitude – he may have never even heard the word before. However, his display of gratitude is nothing short of inspiring. He seems truly happy to be interacting with others and his surroundings, enjoying life without being dragged down by ‘boring adults’ or not having any fun 5-year old activities. He is making the most of the moment he finds himself in, and I think that’s something that we can all learn from.
The journey of life is beautiful. It can be hard and it can be scary, but nonetheless it is beautiful. So often, I think we are so focused on our destination that we forget to appreciate the journey. We are caught up with getting that promotion, getting into a great school or moving to a new city that we forget to stop and look around us and appreciate all that we are surrounded by. So do that. Stop. Look around you. Look at the people around you – those you know, and those you don’t know. Notice the smells – maybe you are sitting by a flower bed or by a kitchen creating delicious food. Notice the sounds – are the birds chirping outside? Or is there a new song playing that you’ve never heard? And in this moment, find something to appreciate. Follow the lead of this little boy. Be appreciative of the situation you find yourself in, no matter how hard or scary – there IS something beautiful around you right now. Notice it, and dwell on it for a few minutes, and be grateful for it.
That is what The Gratitude Spark is all about. It is that ‘spark’ that pushes us towards a more gratitude-centered mindset. That gratitude-centered mindset starts in the here and now. We can be grateful for things that will happen in the future like that promotion, or acceptance into a great school or a move to a new city. But if we don’t appreciate the things that lead us there, we may never get the joy out of life that this little 5-year old boy is experiencing right now. So live in the moment, but don’t forfeit your drive and motivation to get where you want to be. Notice the little things along this beautiful journey you find yourself on.
I think I’ll order another beer now. Cheers, friends.
Before we grow up and become “real adults,” those who work a 9-5 job, your “job” is to go to school. From the time we are 3 or 4 years old, playing in preschool, to college graduation or even graduate school for some, we are greatly influenced by our educational system. Education is at the very root of our society and something for which we should all be grateful. But at the root of the education system, is teachers. Teachers have an undeniably large impact on today’s youth and play a huge role in their mental, physical and emotional development. Teachers help to raise children into functioning members of society and provide them with the skills and abilities to be successful as they transition into adulthood.
Yes, teachers will teach students about english, math, science and history, but they do so much more. I’d like to highlight teachers that really teach. I am not talking about teaching the facts in subjects like english, math, science and history – but those that teach us about life. I am talking about the teachers that teach students about respect, compassion, love, honesty, and gratitude. When many “real adults” look back on their childhood and educational experience, they seldom remember the teacher that simply taught english, math, science and history. Rather, they remember the teacher that taught them to be respectful, how to show compassion, how to love others, and how to be grateful.
Personally, as a student who grew up in Chaska, Minnesota, I know I am not alone in believing that our schools had plenty of teachers who made an impact on their students. However, one that specifically sticks out to me as a teacher who really taught his students was Mr. Downs. Mr. Downs was a social science teacher at a middle school in Chaska that had a great impact on my educational experience. Filling each day with laughter and positivity, Mr. Downs fostered a classroom environment that welcomed each student and made them feel comfortable. Through his daily lessons, Mr. Downs conveyed the information needed to successfully pass his class, but he also cultivated a classroom that really focused on becoming the best version of yourself you could be. He taught that honesty is important, respect is necessary and appreciation for the little things in life is what matters. I remember Mr. Downs would play his guitar and sing Bob Dylan’s “Blowin in the Wind,” which students loved. Mr. Downs, along with so many others in the education system, is a teacher who really taught. I am sure I am not alone in my appreciation for the life lessons that Mr. Downs taught so many of us.
Who is that teacher for you? Who is that teacher that really taught? It is important to reflect on these people, because they helped us to develop into the people we are today. Likewise, it is important to recognize the impact current teachers have on today’s youth – and appreciate the life lessons they are teaching our students. Be grateful for these people. Be grateful for teachers who really teach.
We know science says that expressing gratitude brings with it a ton of benefits. It increases happiness, improves relationships, increases one’s self-esteem, improves your career – it’s next to impossible to find someone who doesn’t feel that there is a tremendous upside to expressing gratitude. It takes only minutes a day – perhaps even seconds to practice. It costs nothing. Its benefits are endless. So why do we sometimes struggle with developing a consistent practice of gratitude?
For me, it stems back to a couple of factors – mindset and speed.
Mindset: All too often we focus our mind’s energy on all of the negative things that “might” happen, while at the same time, missing out on the positive things that “are” happening. In my case (and probably others), that mindset seems to be a self-fulfilling prophecy – the negative thoughts tend to feed off of each other quickly and I find myself in a bit of a downward spiral which has, at times, proven difficult to break. I liken this type of negative-focused mindset to a snowball sitting at the top of a snow-covered hill. As the snowball starts to roll, eh, no big deal, the snowball isn’t getting too big – I can handle it. Soon though, that small snowball has grown in size..grown in speed – perhaps to a point where it’s harder to stop and we tend to let our negative mindset feed off itself which has a whole bunch of, well, negative side effects.
Speed: In the classic words of Ferris Bueller – “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it”. I love that movie and the quote could not be more true. Life does move fast and we often find ourselves just trying to keep up at times. Running out the door in the morning to get to work for that 8:00am meeting. Scrambling to get home to get your kid to baseball practice. Quickly walking from meeting to meeting with your head in your phone trying to catch up on emails. All too soon we realize that another year has come and gone and with that, countless opportunities to notice and appreciate the beauty in our world around us.
So what can we do? As David Steindl-Rast says, it might be as simple as the actions we are taught as a child when crossing the street – Stop. Look. Go.
STOP: Ferris Bueller was right – life does move fast. We do need to try to slow down to recognize the things in our life for which we are grateful – to just suspend and attend to the now, the moment. Before running out of the house to get to that 8:00am meeting – pause to give yourself an opportunity to notice things that you might take for granted – ,Notice the pictures…knick knacks. Take a minute to focus on the memories. Instead of walking to meeting to meeting with your head in your phone checking emails – stop and look up. Greet your colleagues. Smile. Take the opportunity to make a difference in their day. Be in the moment.
LOOK: Be aware of your surroundings. Look at the people in your life. Look at the things in your life. Notice the good actions of others. Look at the kids playing at the park. Keep your eyes open to things that are easy to look past. Appreciate the little things.
GO: This is the key piece – act on this appreciation. Thank people in your life that make a difference. Thank people that make a difference in other people’s lives. Gratitude can be so much more impactful on those around us if we act on our appreciation.
So, when I am struggling to be consistent in my practice of gratitude, it’s this simple set of actions that I will return to – Stop…Look…Go. Well, this, and the immortal words of the great philosopher from the 1980’s…Ferris Bueller.
An interesting thing happened to me on a recent business trip. I was working with a client and after a long day I was just hanging out in my room flipping through the channels. I came across an older movie called “Taking Chance” caught my attention.
It was about a Marine who was responsible for bringing the remains of a fellow soldier named Chance Phelps to his family in Montana. The journey of these two soldiers was nothing short of inspirational. The obvious inspiration was that Chance gave everything as he protected the country that he loved. But it was the many other things that occurred during their journey back to Montana that really hit me – the reactions, and actions, of complete strangers toward Chance and his escort. The expressions of gratitude displayed by complete strangers was incredibly inspiring. It was the gate agent that recognized the situation and upgraded the escort to first class. It was baggage handlers that grew solemn and held their caps over their hearts as the coffin was loaded and unloaded from the planes. It was the flight attendant that handed the escort a cross (which he in turn gave to Chance’s family). It was the sight of the escort sleeping in the hangar during a layover so as not to leave Chance’s side. It was the words of encouragement from the pilot – an ex-Marine himself. The happenstance convoy that was created when Chance was being driven to his hometown – a line of cars falling in behind the hearse….not passing, lights on. Each act – overflowing with gratitude – was truly inspirational.It was these simple acts of gratitude by strangers that profoundly impacted the military escort. On his way home after bringing the soldier home to his family, he wrote about his experience over the past few days. When he got home, he sent his story to a few friends, who in turn sent it to more friends. Within days it had taken root on the internet.It’s amazing to think that those people, strangers to the escort, strangers to the fallen soldier, strangers to the situation, took a small moment of their lives to show their gratitude and do something they felt necessary.
Chance’s Final Ride
Strangers impacting strangers – that’s what it’s all about. Not only did Chance inspire those along his journey home, but those individuals have inspired a multitude of others – all strangers to one another. Anyway, I’m not sure I had any intent to share this until I got on the plane for my return flight home. I opened up the flight magazine (which I rarely do), flipped through the pages and came across a short article on – guess who – Chance. I guess I saw that as a sign – so, I grabbed my laptop and started writing.
Life is a beautiful thing – full of excitement, love, pain, and constant change. Change often brings about new opportunities for us to express ourselves, assist others, and find new avenues for us to influence the world around us for the better. Recently, my family has undergone considerable change. From my departure to college three years ago, and my sister following my lead just last year, to the unfortunate passing of loved ones, we have undergone changes that will impact us for the rest of our lives. This is not unusual for families, but it always comes with a certain amount of uncertainty, that can often be scary. However, change can be beautiful, and it is something that I am grateful for.
Throughout this time of change, I have been able to step back and look at the world around me, and more specifically, the people around me. My grandmother has moved from her home of 40+ years and is meeting new people everyday in a new town. My mother has become much more involved in family life, and plays a huge role in the lives of my sister and I, maybe even more so than when we lived together, from 300-some miles away. It has been especially fun to watch my dad change throughout these past couple of years. Recently, he has started to focus on gratitude, using it as a lens through which to examine the world around him and his experiences everyday. Countless times, he has mentioned to me the things he is grateful for – my mother, his family, sunrises and sunsets, a good book and a cup of chai tea on a cold morning. After focusing on gratitude for some time, he had the idea to start a community centered around gratitude – a place for people to share what they are grateful for, and use it as a means for people to take a step back from our busy lives, and notice the things in life that are beautiful. Hence, begins The Gratitude Spark.
My dad started The Gratitude Spark as a way for people to connect and share things that they are grateful for. He hopes that through this focus on gratitude, people will change the way they look at the world. To find the beauty in everyday life, rather than to focus on the pain and negative experiences many of us have. This shift in focus can be incredibly powerful. It is so exciting to see people’s perspectives change after developing a focus on gratitude.
This community is in its infant stages and it is so exciting to see how this group will progress and change as it grows. And I hope that this mindset change can change our communities for the better. If we work together, we can make our families stronger, our workplaces happier, and the lives of others better by focusing on this little thing called gratitude. So, invite your friends, family members and acquaintances to embark on this mindset change with you. Tell them about the impact of focusing on one beautiful thing everyday can have. Let’s see where this takes us!
