In the immortal words of Bob Dylan – “the times, they are a-changin’.” Over the course of the last month, we have seen life change dramatically as a result of COVID-19. Hopefully, by the time this edition is published, things have calmed and we have returned to our old “normal”. However, the last month has been anything but normal and has forced us all to engage in new behaviors, take new actions and develop new routines. We have been faced with situations and concerns that, thankfully, our generation has not had to experience until now. We have been introduced to precautionary measures like the widespread closing of public venues, schools and churches. We have dealt with postponements of major sporting events, concerts and professional conferences. We have learned new terms like “containment areas”, “pandemic mitigation” and “social distancing”.
With all of these concerns over the last month, many of us are left with feelings of uncertainty, confusion and anxiety. For some of us, these feelings often result in a focus on negativity; it’s no secret that negative thoughts have a ripple effect – negativity begets negativity. Lucky for us, the contrary is true. Focusing on positive thoughts and emotions can also have a ripple effect, albeit a ripple effect in a far more healthy direction – positivity begets positivity. By intentionally cultivating a mindset of gratitude and appreciating the little things in life, we can literally rewire the brain to automatically notice and acknowledge positive emotions and thoughts.
So, how do we do it? Below are a couple of things you can try when building a conscious mindset of gratitude.
First, start a journal. One of the simplest and most effective ways to cultivate a mindset of gratitude is to take five minutes each day and write three ordinary things for which you are grateful. This journaling activity has the opportunity to dramatically change your ability to find a new appreciation for the ordinary moments in life. As one of my favorite authors, Brené Brown, points out, “Joy comes to us in the ordinary moments. We risk missing out when we get too busy chasing down the extraordinary.”
Second, find a “gratitude buddy”. Having someone to go through a journey of gratitude with you and to hold you accountable for cultivating a grateful mindset can reap huge benefits. Your gratitude buddy can be your spouse, your child, a friend, a co-worker. Set aside a few minutes each day to have a conversation about the things for which you are grateful. Sharing thoughts of gratitude with someone can strengthen your mindset as well as open your eyes to other perspectives.
Third, pick a word of the day. Each day, simply pick something for which you are grateful and focus on it for the remainder of the day. Recently, as part of The Gratitude Spark community on Facebook, members shared a single word of positivity or something for which they are grateful with the group. This allowed us all to collectively focus on positivity (remember positivity begets positivity) and also be mindful about new things we could focus on each day. The image to the right shows some of the words of positivity that the community shared which might be helpful for you as you pick your word of the day.
Yes, COVID-19 is scary. But by focusing one day at a time, appreciating the little things and cultivating a mindset of gratitude, it will help you stay in the moment and not be overwhelmed. Stay grateful so that you can stay healthy!
In the immortal words of Ferris Bueller, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around
once in awhile, you could miss it.” In all honesty, it really is true. Life often does move so fast
that it’s easy to miss some of the more important things in life if you don’t have an intentional
focus. Gratitude definitely falls into this camp. Sure, being grateful is a good thing; however,
developing a “habit of gratitude” can be kind of tricky. We all know that expressing gratitude is
beneficial and can make a big difference in our overall sense of well-being. But, as with
anything, without intentional effort, it’s easy for a person to lose momentum with respect to their
practices and expressions of gratitude that are needed for it to become a “habit”.
Sure, there are lots of ways to cultivate a habit of gratitude, but, even these strategies like
journaling and writing gratitude letters can be challenging given our busy schedules. At times,
they can even start to feel almost more like a “chore” than a way of improving your life. So this
month, let’s make it easy on ourselves. Over the course of February, we invite you to be
intentional with respect to your practice of gratitude by following the easy and intuitive prompts
in our “Month of Gratitude” calendar. For each day in February, we have included a short
thought or activity that will help build your gratitude muscles. The intent is to inspire a feeling of
abundance and hope with short reminders to help you to cultivate a mindset of gratitude each
day.
A helpful hint: Keep this top-of-mind. Consider printing this calendar and tape it to your refrigerator or bathroom mirror to have a constant reminder to be intentional in your practice of gratitude each day of the month.
I’m sitting here at a local coffee shop – early on a Saturday morning just considering what to write for my next blog post. I have always read that there are things to be grateful for everywhere…at all times. So, I thought I’d just sit back and find things in my current environment for which I could be grateful.
My Chai Latte – yes…super grateful for my Chai Latte. I’m not a coffee drinker, so, this is the next best thing – actually, in my mind, it’s better than coffee, but, I say that at the risk of all you coffee lovers coming after me with rage in your eyes. The “busyness” of the coffee shop – yup, I love the fact that the employees seem to be having fun interacting with each other, with the customers – helping to ensure that we all have a really great experience. But what sticks out for me here is the group of men sitting over by the fireplace. I have been at this coffee shop on a Saturday morning before and every time I’m here, so are they. I suspect it’s a group who meets once a week just to catch up over a cup of coffee. I can overhear a bit of their conversation – it’s just about the little things – what happened yesterday, upcoming sporting events, local news.
Today, a few things stand out for me – 1) Their laughter – there honestly might not be much better than a really good belly laugh. I’m hearing those now from this group of guys. 2) What appears to be a genuine connection with one another. There are times when you can tell that people just genuinely enjoy being with each other. I’m witnessing that now. 3) A son. One of the men brought his son today. The best part, the son was welcomed just like an old friend and is taking part in the conversations just as the other long-timers.
It might be the little things that they are talking about every Saturday morning, but, it’s no secret that those little things become the big things. This regular meeting of friends is probably a small part of their weekly routine, but, I have no doubt it will be something for which they are truly grateful. In fact, I am thankful for just having the opportunity to witness their connection.
I think that’s something that we all could stand to do a little more often – seek out connections. Sometimes all it takes is a quick phone call to a friend that you haven’t spoken to for awhile. Maybe it’s a pit stop on your next neighborhood walk to chat with a neighbor with whom you haven’t had a chance to speak to recently because of your busy schedules. Perhaps it’s a conversation you strike up with a stranger – who knows, that introduction might turn into a recurring opportunity to build that connection at your local coffee shop every Saturday morning. Whatever it is – the friend, the neighbor, the stranger – just connect – I suspect you will look back at that connection with a true sense of gratitude in the not-too-distant future.
p.s., On my way out, one of the guys got up to shake my hand and invited me to next Saturday’s catch-up session with The Coffee Crew.
As we come to the close of 2019, I wanted to take a moment to thank each and every one of you for making a difference in my life over the course of the year. What started out as a little project to get my mindset to a better place during some challenges at work and dealing with the passing of my father, has turned into a new way of life and a new perspective. While the The Gratitude Spark initially was an attempt a personal mindset shift it has turned into something so much more than that and has given me countless blessings along the way.
Most importantly, The Gratitude Spark has given me opportunities – opportunities that I wouldn’t have had otherwise. Opportunities to think about life differently, opportunities to dig deeper into what really matters in life, opportunities to change the way I live my life. However, the thing for which I am most grateful for that The Gratitude Spark has provided is … YOU … all of you amazing and beautiful people that are on this journey of goodness with me. The opportunity to connect with so many incredible, like-minded people has truly changed my life. This project has led me to relationships that would have never materialized without it. It has led me to meaningful connections with complete strangers. It has led me to seeing new perspectives that others in the community have shared – perspectives that have impacted me greatly and have changed the course of my life.
While our community continues to grow in size and the engagement is continually increasing, it is the connections that make this concept so special. It is our collective and our desire to live life through the lens of gratitude that will lead to amazing things over the course of 2020 and beyond. I truly can’t wait to see what this amazing group of people can do for our world over the next year!
With that – The Gratitude Spark is planning some fun things in 2020. Opportunities for more “real” connection and for creating change – personally and in our communities, both locally and globally. Keep an eye out for:
“Spark Sessions” – opportunities for locals to meet, share stories of gratitude and to create real social change in their communities.
“The Gratitude Spark Podcast” – gonna give this a shot…we’ll see what happens!
“A Year of Gratitude” – a book that will come out toward the end of the year reviewing the collective gratitude and its impact from The Gratitude Spark community. Stay tuned…you’ll hear more about this … TOMORROW!!! 🙂
“Gratitude Spark Gear” – t-shirts, hats, mugs, candles, etc. to share the awesomeness of our community with the rest of the world – the best part…a portion of the proceeds will go to awesome social impact opportunities.
…and more
I’ve said it before, but, have to say it again. I’m truly honored and grateful to be on this journey with all of you. The impact we made in a few short months in 2019 was incredible. I can’t wait to see the positive changes we make in our world over the course of 2020 – together, as a community of “Gratitude Sparkers”.
YES!!! Here we are once again. The Christmas season is upon us and oh what a joy it is!!! Excitement fills the air. Christmas music can be heard around every corner. The children are bursting with anticipation. But, amid all of the beauty that the Christmas season brings, our days often seem to be filled with stress and anxiety. The hustle and bustle of preparations, the chaos of endless crowds, the search for the “perfect” gifts for our loved ones…whether that’s the newest video game, the coolest new electronic gadget or the most unique kitchen appliance. All too often, we seem to be focused on the “thing” that will bring joy to our friends and family. Perhaps this year, we might consider giving a gift that doesn’t require battling crowds to purchase, one that doesn’t need to be wrapped, one that doesn’t even cost a penny. I know, you’re wondering what is this magical gift? Well, it’s a game-changing gift and one that will bring joy to all it touches – it’s the gift of gratitude.
Gratitude? Isn’t gratitude that nebulous word that is only about saying “thank you” when someone does something nice for you? This couldn’t be further from the truth. Gratitude is a literal game changer in life. It’s like a hidden superpower. It has the ability to transform our life, and the lives of those around us, in ways that are sometimes hard to believe. So how do we find and share this wonderful gift of gratitude? As David Steindl-Rast suggests, it might be as simple as the actions we are taught as a child when crossing the street – Stop. Look. Go.
STOP: In the immortal words of Ferris Bueller – “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it”. This is especially true during the weeks leading up to Christmas. Life seems to move incredibly fast. We feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day for us to accomplish all of the things we “think” we need to complete. We feel like we need to run faster and faster in order for the Christmas season to be a success. But wait…perhaps what we really need to do is think back to the words of our friend Ferris “…if you don’t stop and look around, you could miss it”. During this Christmas season – don’t miss anything. Try to make an intentional effort to slow down and recognize the things in your life for which you are grateful – suspend the chaos and attend to the now. Take pause – give yourself an opportunity to notice things that you might otherwise take for granted. Said simply…live in the moment.
LOOK: Be aware of your surroundings. Instead of briskly walking down the hallway at the local mall with your head in your phone checking texts and emails – stop and look up. Greet those passing by you. Smile at them. Take the opportunity to make a difference in their day. You never know how grateful a stranger might be from the simplest of gestures…a smile. Look at the people in your life. Look at the things in your life. Notice the good actions of others. Keep your eyes open to things that are often far too easy to look overlook. Notice and appreciate the little things because those “little” things might not be so little after all.
GO: This is the key element with respect to the gift of gratitude – turning grateful thoughts and feelings into “actions”. Acting on appreciation is the the piece that has real impact on the lives of those around us. Be intentional and thank people in your life for the role they’ve played – your family, your friends, even strangers. Challenge yourself to handwrite a letter of gratitude to someone who has made an impact on your life. Go out of your way to acknowledge people that make a difference in other people’s lives. The beauty and the true power of gratitude is only realized when it is expressed toward others and when our appreciation for the beauty in our lives is shared with those around us.
So, as we navigate the hustle and bustle of the next few weeks, try to focus on your own practice and expression of gratitude. Witness the power that can come from it and the joy it can create. Remember, it’s not joyfulness that makes us grateful, it’s gratefulness that makes us joyful. It is when we leverage the power of gratitude that we will find joy in this beautiful season of Christmas.
It was just a couple of days ago. November 15th. That day will forever have new meaning for me. It was that day one year ago, that we lost a father, a husband, a grandpa, a brother. Someone recently asked me if it was “sudden”. I paused and said, well, kind of. It wasn’t anything as sudden as an auto accident, but, things happened pretty quickly and before we knew it, he was gone – and with that, our lives changed forever. It was then that we were forced to start a new phase of our life as a family. One where there had to be a new normal – a normal that none of us wanted. But yet, it was here.
During the last year, the journey has been anything but easy. It often struck me about that I really had no idea how much of an impact my Dad had on my every day life until he was gone. The adage of not knowing what you have until it’s gone – well, I think there is a whole bunch of truth to that. Everyone deals with grief in different ways, but, one thing is pretty consistent – the power of grief is palpable. It is intense – at times, it becomes almost overwhelming. It is individual – grief is never the same from one person to another and is unique to the person experiencing it. It is random – hitting you when you least expect it.
Over the course of the last year, I have experienced all of these attributes of grief. But, with the grief I’ve experienced, I have also begun to see things from a different perspective…a perspective of gratitude. As I’ve been more intentional in my practice of gratitude, I have started to see things with respect to my Dad very differently. I have often wondered if this is a chicken and the egg thing – did my thoughts of gratitude for my Dad come because I was being more intentional with respect to gratitude, or, was it my attention toward the things that I was so grateful for in my Dad that led to me being more grateful in general. In the end, it really doesn’t matter. What matters is that I have been able to see more clearly all of those things for which I am eternally grateful for in the man I was lucky enough to call Dad.
I have been able to reflect and thank my Dad for all of the amazing gifts he gave me over the course of my life. I’m not talking about the material things (though, the drum set was really awesome). Rather, it’s the intangible things like how to treat people, how to be kind, how to respect others. I smile when I think about one of his bad (but oh so good) jokes and I laugh about how he let me get away with something he probably already knew about (I’m sure my Mom is thinking about the same thing I’m thinking about now! :). I am grateful for his text messages and the way he ended each one with “Love, Dad” even though I knew they were from him. I am grateful for his voice and how, when he ended a phone call, instead of saying “goodbye”, it was more of “du-bye”. I am grateful for his desire to always be present – even in those times when he would be sleeping in his chair and suddenly wake up and start giggling as if he was always part of the conversation. I am grateful for his hands – the hands that built so many beautiful things (and fixed next to everything). I am grateful for the relationship he and my Mom share. It is a once-in-a-lifetime love that was easy for anyone to see. But, most of all, I am eternally grateful for the opportunity to spend my life with my role model, my mentor, my friend and the person I was lucky enough to call Dad.
So…I’ll never really know if my recent focus on gratitude has allowed me to see more clearly my gratefulness for him or if my gratitude toward him has led me down my personal journey with gratitude. Do I still experience grief with the loss of my Dad, without question. But what I do know is that my Dad is on this journey with me. In fact, I think he probably always was. Through his genuine kind and compassionate way in which he lived his life, he was always teaching me about how to live life through the lens of gratitude. And for that Dad, I will be forever grateful.
